He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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