I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
