i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
