He uses pillows to masturbate.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
