Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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