Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize