Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
