I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I checked into jail on foursquare
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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