I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
