There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
