Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I have post one night stand depression
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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