i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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