Please, let me fuck your mom
it's like iHOP with fire
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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