I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
my poor anus
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
please don't ironically join a cult
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