I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
