Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
