i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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