I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I have already put on my inside pants.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
