508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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