Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
