did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
she was so not down for the gang bang
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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