wat bout pragnant strippers??
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
She's the barista slut.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
