dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
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