FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS