it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
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an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
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Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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