fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...