dude i'm inner monologue high
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
