its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
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