theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
