i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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