You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Randomize
