I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
