grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Apparently you make a good broom.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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