i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
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