He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Randomize