:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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