i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
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I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize