don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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