how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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