Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
The struggles of a small town man whore
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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