we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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