I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
where am i from again
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
