Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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