She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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