left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
