ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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