There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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