That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize