We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
