watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
