I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
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