Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
