I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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