She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
