If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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